A glance. From a distance. Across the room.
Their world stopped spinning for seconds.
It started. Just like any Love Story that’s ever told.
Courage. A hesitant smile. A nod. Approach. A handshake, or non at all. A greet, or maybe a pick up line. Giggles. A laugh. Words exchanged, formed into longer sentences. The getting to know. Trading that thin line to see if it tugs and vibrates in return. The search for chemistry.
Attraction turned into sparks. Spiraling around two foreign souls.
Innocent dates slowly turned into lust.
Giving in. Surrendering into the sexual tension that was right there from the beginning. A silent desire to touch each others’ naked skin. To feel what it’s like to be Wanted. The exhilaration of joining with someone new on an intimate level. Thoughts that weren’t spoken.
With that, sex was what tore down each other’s walls. Before they know it, they were hanging out like brother and sister, best friends. Partners in crime. Before they know it, each has the other constantly on their mind, creeping into this sacred zone named heart. Before they know it, they couldn’t get enough of each other.
Before they know it, love, was slowly melting into the mix. Each to their own pace, into that forbidden zone of no returns.
Heart betrayed Intentions. What was deemed casual started to fell out of line. The beautiful thing was? None of each cared. Because emotions? They are just plain unpredictable. Un-explainable, most times. No use fighting in the name of love.
What was deemed casual turned into: “What if he/she is my forever?” A private question tingled inside. Neither having the courage to talk about it. Because the more Realistic question at that moment was: “What Are We?” Neither having the intention to talk about that either, so long as they have each other. The future, can wait for now.
Beautiful Days. Sweet Days. No title, no ownership. No promises. Lonely hearts being filled and healed.
Until it slowly starts hitting. Things happened. Tiny hiccups, but not tiny enough to start questioning the relationship, the connection. Things, that were constantly being pushed to the back of each’s mind, telling themselves: “Nah, it’s nothing. We can make this through. Think about the good things we have instead.”
But the truth is, They Can’t. Denial is a bitch. But denial was what needed, to ease the blow, to stall time, for both hearts to be ready for the inevitable Hard Truth.
No, not yet. Not when we still love each other.
But you can’t outrun fate. What’s meant to be and what’s not. The Longer you Push, the Harder you Fall.
“We have to talk.” “I can’t do this anymore.” A sentence. Or none at all. He decided to pull the plunge and be the bad guy. Or being the person with higher courage. The courage to end it before it all comes Crashing Down. To world’s end.
Despite the hurt. The pain. Walk away. Just walk away. Don’t Look Back.
“Oh babe, hate me all you want. But someday you’ll understand. We‘ll Understand.” He said, deep in his heart’s quiet corner, away from her.
Because the Deep Hard Truth? Is this.- We are not meant for each other.
They knew it in their hearts. Try as they might, they will never be The One who sticks it out to the end for each other, at least not now. Or ever.
The signs were there. Bright as day. There’s no need for a fight nor an argument. No need for a third party to intrude. No cheating. No hating. It’s just there. Circumstances, goals, directions, dreams, wants, needs. Sexual Chemistry. Things between these two person which are just too skewed away. These two person who garners deep feelings for each other.
But it’s Someone Else they each were already meant for. Right before or after they met. And that person, isn’t the one they look in the mirror.
It’s this grit-table truth that they been hiding away, too afraid to admit. Too afraid to break hearts. Too unfair to place the verdict. At least, try again. Make it work. We’d came this far.
But what they end up with is a love that felt forced.
It hurts. She wasn’t ready to give up just yet. Left alone to lick her wounds. Left behind, rooted on the same ground where she been left off when the person she truly cares about has moved on with someone else.
But one day, she will. She will catch up, and move on too. It’s not going to be easy. Recognizing the fact, in true form that she isn’t the one who’s accepting the declaration of “I Love You” in its truest manner from him, but for another girl. A girl that’s not her.
In this case, it’s not about letting go. But honoring head on what they had shared and cherish it. Accepting all the good and bad about it and Move On, holding that piece along.
She will meet her forever person. She will see why. She will love him better, with everything that she has and what’s been hurting her, will goes into a closure. Remaining just a bittersweet memory.
A memory of a single soul who came into both lives and made a significant turn.
A once-had. An imprint.
Two people who are far better off being friends.
And as days turn into years, no matter where they are, what they do or who they are happily with, there’s no denying that their “once-had” will always carried a place in their hearts, no matter how tiny it is. A presence meant to be traded carefully and maybe a little awkward, but not forgotten.
“I’ll always, care for you and you, for me.” As friends, but a little bit more than that. An opposite sex you genuinely care about. Best friends. maybe.
Once in a blue moon, either one of them will catch themselves thinking about the other, what they are doing and how they are living. The sudden strange urge to reach for them again. An urge that might or might not be met.
Once in a while, either one of them will feel that slight punch in the gut still when he/she is being reminded that They Will NEVER Be The One For The Other, when all they ever once wished for was the opposite. When all they ever wished for, was being the one reason for making the other Happy. A feeling of betrayal almost, by the universe’s injustice.
What hurts, is the possibility of coming face-to-face one day with the other. What hurts will be not being ready to see them hand in hand with someone else.
What hurts more, will be The Memories. Places. An intimacy they both once shared together. When it was just them against the world. Memories that come taunting at the most uncertainty of time.
But It’s Okay to have feelings like that. Because that’s just the furthest they will go. It’s just the way it is.
And What’s Definite, is that they will eventually be happy for each other, sincerely.
Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Friends. If they are lucky.
Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Strangers. What are the odds.
“Give it a few years. If both of us are still single by then, we’ll talk about it.” “Talk about what?” “About if we’re each others’ once-in-a-lifetime.“
But it’s never going to happen.
This, is the kind of lustful love where promises as such sways. As easily flickers away as a candle in the wind. A lust that’s, short lived but beautiful as the sweet summer of day.